I am sitting here at home, trying to feel connected to some part of my normal routine. I have spent the majority of the last five days sitting at the hospital.
My father had open heart surgery on Wednesday to replace a valve and take care of a bypass. He recently took some actions to get back to a doctor and into better health (which I am so thankful for). We found out a couple weeks ago about the valve replacement, but within a day of his angiogram, surgery had been scheduled. It all happened very fast.
The day before surgery, I needed something to make me happy. What does that equate with me? Yarn shopping. Bought this rainbow Kauni to make the Northern Lights Shawl.
After 5 days, I am almost done. I keep referring to this as "Dad's Shawl" (although he won't be the one wearing it!). He really likes the colors.
Things are progressing with Dad, but there is concern over a irregular heart rate and high blood sugar.
I am struggling with it all. I have been there during the day, talking with all the nurses/doctors that come in (he is very tired after everything - very understandable) and just "being" there for whatever he needs. Also been a companion for my mom.
I have always enjoyed knitting, but never realized how helpful it could be to me. I can literally sit there for hours and just quietly knit. It keeps my hands busy (to stop the fidgeting) and keeps my mind occupied (to help control the worrying). It has been such a joy and comfort to me during these past few days.
This may sound corny, but I feel that I am knitting my prayers, hopes, fears, worries and love for my Dad into this shawl. Then I see the beautiful colors that emerge and it makes me happy and reminds me that we will get through this and he WILL be better soon.
